What is the Point.

I've had this post sitting in my draft pile for over a month now. It's something that I've been processing through in the last few months, something I've been meaning to share, but haven't quite had the words to say. So it's been collecting dust. But yesterday, as I read the encouraging words that my good friend, Jacqueline at Raindrops on Roses, posted, it got me thinking.

It leads me to ask, "what is the point?"

I've always been a fan of transparency and so it's time to share some of my own. I don't mean to copy, maybe since we're both at similar stages of life--we think alike. But going off of what she said, with those same thoughts that have been tormenting me, I want to share with you the point.



Much like Jacqueline, I am a perfectionist. I take my work and home personally. I work hard to tow the line each day. Everything is in it's place and I always deliver my best.

Mom's will probably laugh at me and someday I'll understand that stage of life. But for now, I juggle being a full-time student, 20 hour worker with an occasional side-job, 1 of 3 leaders at a college business club, regular church attender--fully involved, full-time wife, chef, and maid with a teeny bit of a social & work-out life (and I had the audacity to refresh my blog in the middle of it all).

Last semester I was pretty good at doing at this--things were pretty much always in balance with the exception of a day or two.

But this semester, it seems like the last MONTH has been out of whack and I just can't seem to straighten it. One thing always slips, it can never be work--I need the job. So it ends up being the dishes or laundry, sleep, or even worse, my husband. As a result, I have been consistently tired with a migraine. Worn down to the core, I find myself questioning the things that I do. Asking what is the point in all of this if I can't keep up with my standard.

I'm sure that this was all part of God's perfect plan, but yesterday was one of those days--one of those breaking point days. It seemed as though everything was going wrong, from the little things like nicking my fingers with a knife, the new recipe that I tried for dinner turning out completely nasty (not every recipe on Pinterest is fool-proof), and the house looking as though it had been turned completely upside down to the larger things like my design work--things that I pour hours into, not being good enough, my to-do list doubling in my mind, and a complementary migraine to pair with it.

I got angry, I cried, I was hurt, I questioned everything. The few things that I thought I was doing ok--in my mind at the time, seemed to be totally the opposite and I began to question my talents, my entire purpose in life. I knew that a good night's sleep would help, but I was still discouraged because I've felt the beginnings of this for a while now.

In your head, it's easy to know the right thing, but it's entirely different to believe it with your heart.

I know that I am called to a higher purpose in life than what I can give to myself, I know that I drown myself in my own priorities rather than focus on that higher purpose, and I knew that God was allowing me to go through this "down time" to help me refocus on the right things--trust me, it's happened before.

But my heart wouldn't believe it. And until that happens, nothing changes because there is no incentive to do so.

When this morning came, paired with the reflection of yesterday and Jacqueline's words in my head, I believed it.

This life is not about all those petty things such as dishes, laundry, and even work. Those things can be used and intermingled with that higher purpose, but they are not it. Even my husband, is not it--though God has greatly used him in life to help towards that higher purpose.

The point is, we are called as his creation to glorify God in all that we say and do.

This may include doing the dishes, loving your husband, and working to the best of your ability. Those things, how you do them or react to situations reflects God's working in your life. That is what sets apart the believer. But when I demand control of my life's events, when things become the central focus of life, the purpose that I live each day--it all falls apart because none of those things are solid enough to be a foundation. Only God can uphold us, enable us to do, give us a meaningful purpose to live.

Any other way distorts our view, our purpose--it leads to discontent, frustration, and depression. Our human methods can never satisfy the way that Christ can.

God has a perfect plan, I tend to get frustrated when that doesn't align with how I think. But this view is incorrect. If we are to live solely to glorify God, then my plan shouldn't matter very much. Of course God gives us opportunities, doors to walk through, tasks to accomplish. It's all very needed. But, it shouldn't blind us from the things that God leads us to do such as encouraging friends, spending needed time with your husband, or taking time to pray and know our Savior more--the dishes don't have to be clean for this to happen.

The point in glorifying God, is having a right heart and motive. Why do you do what you do? To please people, to prove yourself worthy, or to give your best to God? In glorifying God, we are called to emanate Him towards others, we need to get out of the way so that others can see Christ in us.

It reminds me of Mary & Martha, although Martha was all about doing good things, she failed to see the priority of taking time away from things to spend time with Christ. It seems to be a constant replay for me--I never seem to fully "get it" when it comes to knowing that God is always better than this world and I always get entangled with things more lowly then Him.

I don't mean to say, "stop doing," but we, I, need to be more aware of the priorities--the things that truly matter to God. Trusting his perfect plan and walking where He leads, putting aside my own lists and to-do's when he asks.

Life isn't all about checking off lists and when we change our perspective to what God sees as valuable, the petty things become petty and the important things are revealed.

Be thankful for what God allows in your life, the good and seemingly bad. Spend time in the word and prayer so you can recognize God's hand in your life. Be ok with letting God lead, even if it isn't your ideal. Know that you don't have to fix the world's problems or be individually perfect to be successful for God.

It's good to be busy with good things, but don't let good things overwhelm you. There is peace in trusting God's plan, in not holding yourself to your own standards, in knowing that the dishes don't have to be done to be successful in God's plan for today.

Let God lead.